August 5th, 2002
TONIGHT: The Hardys vs. Christian & Lance Storm
Chris Jericho is out for his first -official- night on Raw. He's immediately interrupted by Triple H who's headhunting for who hurt Shawn Michaels last week. H basically accuses and questions Jericho because of their past issues. Jericho shoots down the idea and H says isn't leaving the arena tonight until he finds out who did it. Exit Triple H. Jericho is happy he can keep talking without being rudely interrupted only for ROB VAN DAM to come out. Van Dam welcomes him to Raw, but wants to know what HE is smoking to be out there saying Raw is his show. This leads to the two agreeing to a match. Jericho tries to call RVD a son of a bitch only to get clocked in the jaw. A little action breaks out and they do some flippy shit. Van Dam misses a kick, but Jericho lands one and dips out.
1) The Big Show vs. Bubba Ray Dudley - Tables Match
Tired of this feud, but this was fun! Trish comes out to distract Show, Spike runs in with a fucking football helmet and runs into Show allowing Bubba to pop Show through a table with a half 3-D/flap jack.
Match rating - **
Backstage, Lance Storm lays into America and the current president. This brings up Sgt. Slaughter and Test steps up to him. I guess they're gonna wrestle later or something.
2) Tommy Dreamer (c) vs. Bradshaw - Hardcore Title Match
Dreamer is backstage when Bradshaw walks up and a mysterious bell rings and this match is a thing. Last week made me hate this damn title. But much like the Show/Bubba mess, this wasn't unbearable. Cool spot off the jump with Dreamer getting thrown into glass fixture thing by the entrance way. The rest of the match is in/around the ring. Dreamer wins with the DDT on the steps.
Match rating - **
Backstage, Victoria introduces herself to William Regal and Chris Nowinski. Nowinski asks about Molly's virginity and says she won't be a virgin long.. alright.
Meanwhile, mini Goldust humps Booker T's leg and he goes to leave when TRIPLE H meets him nose to nose. BOOKER is so fucking good. He's been a highlight of all these 2002 Raw's. Booker says he's happy about what happened last week but he had nothing to do with it. H threatens him with the sledgehammer if he's lying.
Now we're in Eric Bischoff's office and Howard Finkel :( - he wants a competition with Lillian Garcia to get his job back. Eric says they can trade off doing the ring introductions. Finkel also has a message he was handed from the production truck and Eric asks him to read it. It's basically a Smackdown ad from Stephanie and Eric flips and tells Fink to live.
EPIC KANE VIGNETTE. AHHHHHHH. CHEMICALS. *THE FIRE STILL BURNS*
Sgt Slaughter comes out for his match with Test, but is jumped before the bell. Next thing, I know we're on to the next match.
3) Booker T & Goldust vs. William Regal & Chris Nowinski
Ugh. Why pair Nowinski with a god like Regal. Booker & Goldy attack Nowinski & Regal before the bell and we are right into it. Simple tag here with Regal & Nowinski isolating Goldust. Booker gets the hot tag and clears house. Book & Goldy win. Apparently they're undefeated. Book hits the spinarooni SUCKA post-match.
Match rating - **1/4
Triple H is still hunting backstage for whoever attacked HBK. The Un-Americans get questioned up, but say they didn't do it.
Backstage, RVD is doing some stretches on a rug. Jericho is flexing in front of the camera. They face later on.
4) Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
I think this is the start of Victoria's main roster run. Molly Holly is on commentary and Jerry is being extra perverted tonight. I love Victoria and Trish, but Lawler is just gross and that's the only thing that stood out here. Victoria wins using the ropes.
5) The Hardys vs. Christian & Lance Storm
This was a nice sprint, but the finish sucked. Only went about 3 minutes. DQ finish, Un-Americans triple team Matt and Jeff, THE UNDERTAKER runs down with a chain to make the save as he got attacked by them last week and Jeff earned his respect weeks ago. YEEEAAAH. I want a trios match next week. Taker chases them out of the arena and ends up finding a bike with flashing lights and rides off into the sunset to chase the Un-Americans as JR yells about it. That was funny.
Lillian Garcia and Howard Finkle argue for their spot as ring announcers. Lillian says she heard Howard has a hard time keeping his 'sail' up. Dear god. Bischoff tells them to stop. Next thing you know Jamal and Rosey are beating them both up. Frog splash on Lillian. Blah.
6) Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
They bust out a bunch of big moves off the jump and then Jericho starts working RVD over with submissions trying to wear him down. Ref bump happens, Jericho uses a chair, but Ric Flair comes down to return the favor from last week and blasts Jericho with one. This turned into a shit show.
Eric Bischoff comes to the ring and has a surprise for Triple H. It's a live satellite feed to San Antonio so H can talk to HBK himself about what happened last week. Shawn says they're good bc shit happens, but he has no clue who attacked him. They show surveillance footage from the parking lot and turns out it was TRIPLE H. H turns fully and says YA DAMN RIGHT IT WAS. Good segment even though it was a little weird of a way to reveal H as the man behind the attack after he spent all night looking for who did it. None the less, they will face off at SummerSlam as HBK comes out of retirement for one time only. Quote unquote.
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