October 13th, 2003
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
World Heavyweight Champion: Goldberg (since 9/21/03)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 8/10/03)
World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz (since 9/21/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly (since 7/28/03)
Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler
The broadcast begins with Ric Flair in the back trying to fire up a broken Shawn Michaels. Flair says that he still has it and he needs to go out there and show the entire wrestling world that the Heartbreak Kid still exists. Flair says if not for himself… do it for the $100,000 in the brief case that Randy Orton is holding. My god.. Flair is trying to get Michaels to take out Goldberg.
Back at ringside, JR & King start showing the footage again of Kane’s accident last week. Christian and Chris Jericho are in the ring and interrupt the footage. Jericho says this is a prime example of Stone Cold needing to be removed from his position as general manager. Jericho then directs his anger towards Shane McMahon and shows a clip of Shane breaking Test’s foot at a house show in a no DQ match that Stone Cold was responsible for booking. This brings out Shane who says none of this is Stone Cold’s fault and he takes proud responsibility for causing Kane’s accident last week. La Resistance comes out and says this IS Austin’s fault. They agree with Christian and Jericho that none of them want Shane around either. This turns into a 4 on 1 assault when THE DUDLEYZ MAKE THE BIG SAVE AND GOD DAMN THEIR RUN INS FUCKING RULE. Bubba & D-Von clean house, but meanwhile…
A fucking car tries to run over Goldberg in the parking lot LMAO. This show is truly INSANE. 2003 baby.
1) Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Scott Steiner (w/ Stacy Keibler) - Intercontinental Title Match
It ain’t long before this shit goes to a DQ finish when Steiner uses a chair on Van Dam. This brings out motherfuckin Stone Cold because Steiner looks like he’s gonna go after Stacy. Austin runs off Steiner and gets tossed some beers. Austin shares one of the beers with Stacy, but she doesn’t want it. She tries it anyway after a toast and hates it and BY GKD SHE EATS A DAMN STUNNER.
Back from commercial, Ric Flair joins the commentary team for the following match. He’s on crutches due to an injury at a house show last night.
2) Maven vs. Rico (w/ Jackie)
Flair on commentary says the reason he didn’t face Maven tonight after he challenged him last week is because he’s injured. This match doesn’t go long before Maven gets the win and as soon as he does, Flair runs to the ring and cracks Maven with one of his crutches.
Back from commercial, Rosey approaches Hurricane and tries to change into his superhero outfit in a phone booth and gets fucking stuck.
Meanwhile, The Dudleyz are in their locker room letting Shane McMahon know that Stone Cold approved them for a Tables Match against La Resistance & Christian.
Also backstage, Goldberg is describing the car that tried to hit him earlier and shit starts falling from the fucking ceiling HAHAHAHA.
This leads the World Heavyweight Champion Goldberg to the ring. He shoots straight and says if there’s anyone who wants to take Triple H’s bounty.. they can come out right now. Shawn Michaels comes to the ring. Goldberg immediately questions Michaels’ trust and motives. HBK says he isn’t just interested in $100k… he still has a score to settle with Goldberg over the World Title. Tommy Dreamer runs in right as things are getting heated and cracks Goldberg with a kendo stick. Shawn backs up and watches, but Goldberg fights off Dreamer. Ric Flair and Randy Orton run down. Flair is yelling for Shawn to hit Goldberg and just as it looks like he’s about to… we hear “HOLD UP PLAYA” I thought this was Smackdown in 05 and we were about to get a tag match, but no. It’s Mark Henry with Teddy Long. Henry wants another shot at the bounty, to which Goldberg says..
“BRING YOUR BIG ASS ON!”
It’s fucking chaos. Eric Bischoff comes out and makes a handicap match for later… HBK & Goldberg vs. Flair, Orton, & Henry.
3) Chris Jericho, Christian, & La Resistance vs. The Dudley Boyz, Shane McMahon, & Booker T - Tables Match
I don’t know how in the hell these guys did it, but they made an almost 20 minute long, 8 man tag tables match absolutely BANG. I mean, it ain’t perfect, but this is a rare good TV match and with some of these names and the time length, you’d probably be surprised. Booker hits the Bookend on Rene through a table for the victory after 18 minutes of good shit. Hell yea. Plus, this was Book’s return match sUCKAAAA!! The good guys prevail.
Match rating - ***1/4
Backstage, Rosey is still stuck in the damn phone booth. People are walking by and no one gives a fuck.
Back in the ring, the babyfaces are still in the ring. Bubba does a spinaroonie. The crowd loves it, Jerry is eating it up. Jonathan Coachman isn’t, though. Coach says he has something more important to deal with than this shindig they have going on. Coach is here to interview Kane live from his hospital bed. Shane says if anyone’s interviewing Kane, it’s gonna be him and gets the rest of the boys to carry Coach away from the ringside area. The cameras cut to Kane in the hospital and Shane starts antagonizing him. He’s hooked up to all kinds of shit and is “barely conscious” according to the doctor. As Shane gets more heated in his promo, Kane’s heart rate goes up and the doctor says he’s going into cardiac arrest as Shane is challenging him for Survivor Series. Doctors says they need to cut the interview, but Kane jumps up out of nowhere and destroys both doctors and the cameras go out/the feed cuts. Shane’s facial expression in the ring to this is hilarious.
“I’m amazed by what Kane did to that physician and nurse just moments ago…” -Jim Ross
4) Lita, Ivory, & Trish Stratus vs. Victoria, Molly Holly & Gail Kim
LITTTTTAAAA. This happens and I don’t remember shit about it… I’m sorry.
“He was wired up.” -Jim Ross as they replay Stone Cold beating Scott Steiner’s ass earlier in the night
Backstage, Stone Cold confronts Chris Jericho asking what’s up with him and Trish. Jericho says it’s just treating a woman properly, something Austin knows nothing about it. Austin walks off and HEIDENREICH shows up. He says he has a tryout tape for Austin that Little Johnny made. Bro.. what??? Is this foreshadowing to Little Jimmy that R-Truth would bring up 10 years later? Or like.. what is going on? Austin is confused as shit and then says he’s going to drink some beer, especially after seeing Rosey’s big ass stuck in the phone booth still.
Meanwhile, in the Evolution locker room, Randy Orton is looking at a Playboy Magazine and Ric Flair has to snap him out of it to focus on their match coming up. Big Mark Henry and Teddy Long walk in all fired up. They say they didn’t sneak attack Goldberg earlier. Flair tells Orton they can’t trust anyone around here.
5) Golberg & Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton, Mark Henry, & Ric Flair
Goldberg gets the hot tag and wins for his team after a few minutes, but Shawn superkicks him after the match as payback for last week's mistake.. they have a match next week .. or whateva.
Match rating - **
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