September 29th, 2003
Chicago, Illinois
World Heavyweight Champion: Goldberg (since 9/21/03)
Intercontinental Champion: Christian (since 8/10/03)
World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz (since 9/21/03)
WWE Women's Champion: Molly Holly (since 7/28/03)
Commentators: Jim Ross & Jerry “The King” Lawler
TONIGHT: Christian defends the IC Title against Rob Van Dam in a Ladder Match ++++ HBK/Goldberg vs. Randy Orton/Ric Flair
Al Snow and Jonathan Coachman are introduced as commentators again to start the show. How wonderful.
The show begins with The Highlight Reel. Chris Jericho’s guest tonight is his “close, personal friend” Eric Bischoff. Bischoff has an announcement to make and it is apparently that Stone Cold is suspended for the next month. Jericho then brings out his other guest for the night… GOOD OL JR. Coach & Snow are taunting him as he walks down the ramp and Coach says “god, I can’t wait to whip his ass later tonight” so yeah this turns into a whole charade. Bischoff lets Coach pick the stip for his match with JR later. He picks a “country whippin” match and Jericho sympathizes with him because he just got burned by Kane, then proceeds to mock him for it. JR says they both better hope he loses tonight and that they are just like Coach & Snow,, they both SUCK. Jericho says Bischoff can’t touch the talent, but he can and locks JR in the damn Walls of Jericho. He has it in for a while before STONE COLD STONE COLD. THIS FUCKER IS POSED TO BE SUSPENDED. He throws chairs out the ring and up the ramp at Bischoff & Jericho as they flee. Bischoff sends officials to remove him from the building. They grab his arms and he asks that they allow him to remove himself from the building. They let him go and drops both of their honky asses!! GOD DAMN RIGHT.
“Yanno, after I’m doing whipping JR’s ass… I might just try a piece of Steve Austin.” -Jonathan Coachman
1) The Dudley Boyz (c) vs. Test & Scott Steiner (w/ Stacy Keibler) - World Tag Team Title Match
Raw has been good lately, but this shit is still so fucking ass and weighs the show down. This is slightly more tolerable than most of the stuff. Scott & Test just keep fucking each other over. Dudleyz take advantage of this and hit the 3D on Test for the win.
Match rating - *
After the match, Steiner floors Test when he tries to put his hands on Stacy only to belly to belly suplex her because this is the second match that he has costed her. Test is in the corner and loves this shit.
STILL TO COME: Triple H’s Major Announcement
Kane comes out and talks about how much he enjoyed tasting Shane McMahon’s blood last week. The Hurricane comes out and confronts him about how much of a monster he’s turned into and replays him choke slamming him last year. Kane challenges him to come down and do something about it. Kane wants to fight somebody and if it won’t be Hurricane, it’ll be someone else. Kane starts looking around the audience and finds a fan with a Hurricane mask on. It’s a random kid and Kane asks if his parents ever told him monsters aren’t real.. because THEY LIED. Kane approaches him at ringside and Hurricane runs down to stop him. Rosey runs in to help Hurricane and they send Kane reeling up the ramp. Kane shoulda just set those fuckers on fire.
“S.H.I.T. Yup… a big ol pile of S.H.I.T.” -Al Snow .. what the fuck
2) Maven, Garrison Cade, & Mark Jindrak vs. Rene Dupree, Rob Conway, & Sylvan Grenier
Another fun ass trios match from Maven, Cade, & Jindrak that has no right being as fun as it is. It isn’t last week because La Resistance is no Evolution, but it’s still a damn blast. They get the win this go round and I’m crowning them the trios championship in my lineal fantasy booking championship league so get over it bitch.
Match rating - **1/2
Back live at the Allstate Arena, Austin is still trying to get back into the arena. Rob Van Dam approaches him and thanks him for the ladder match tonight. Austin says not to thank him, but to just go kick the creepy little bastard’s ass. RVD runs off, Austin asks the security if he can atleast get in to use the bathroom and he’s approached by a tall dude with blonde hair. ITS HEIDENREICH. He says he bought a ticket to come meet him. Austin says.. a ticket? Let’s walk over here and have a lil talk :3
Live feed pops up on the tron and it’s Triple H’s ugly ass live via satellite. H offers up $100,000 to whoever can take out Goldberg and the game just got a lot more interesting. Jesus.
Backstage, Jim Ross is stretching for his match with Coach which is up next.
3) Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman - Country Whippin’ Match
Chris Jericho joins Al Snow on commentary for this. JR chases Coach around immediately at the bell. Coach ends up dominating and whipping the hell out of JR, but JR fights back and starts laying into Coach. Eric Bischoff runs down, but it backfires and JR uses the distraction to hit a stunner on Coach for the three count. JR AND KING ARE BACK ON COMMENTARY THANK FUCK. Stone Cold comes through the crowd and celebrates with them with some beer as Chris Jericho seethes on commentary.
Back from commercial, JR & King show us clips from WrestleMania XX tickets going on sale before sending us to the ring where Terri brings Lita out to promote her new book. She is interrupted by Molly and Gail Kim. They’re basically just jealous of Lita and Trish Stratus having books & DVD’s etc etc. It turns into a brawl and Trish runs down. Trish & Lita clean house, but Victoria pulls Trish’s leg under the ropes and hits a Widow’s Peak on her.
4) Kane vs. The Hurricane
This was set up earlier in the night basically. It lasts all of a minute. Hurricane tries, but gets chokeslammed for a three count.
Backstage, World Heavyweight Champion Goldberg gets interviewed about the bounty that Triple H put on him and how it makes it hard for him to trust anyone. As they’re talking, Steven Richards runs up to try his hand at it, but Goldberg destroys him. The tag match is next.
5) Goldberg & Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton & Ric Flair
Good formula tag. It only runs five minutes or so, but rocks. HBK gets isolated and we build to the Goldberg hot tag which is obviously awesome. Rodney Mack runs in to attack Goldberg in an attempt to get that 100k.. this calls for the DQ finish.
Meanwhile, Mark Henry shows up at ringside and throws Shawn Michaels into the steel steps and bloodies him up. Henry drags Shawn’s bloody ass up the ramp and points at Goldberg.
Backstage, Mark Henry tells Theodore Long that next week he’s cashing in and he’s gonna take out Goldberg and win that $100,000. I wanna see Henry destroy that man honestly.
6) Christian (c) vs. Rob Van Dam - Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship
This fucking ruled. Just brutal, brutal spots and brilliant uses of the ladder. Everyone wants to see Christian lose so the crowd bit on everything. Van Dam is over on his own, but being against Christian has him being even further over. They did so much shit here.. the five star frog splash from the actual top of the ladder is fucking insane. One of the best WWE matches of the year and maybe the best Raw match of the year? Rob Van Dam wins and the reign of terror from CLB is OVERRRR. Ya love to see it. Great match.
Match rating - ****
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