October 16th, 2003
Cincinatti, Ohio
WWE Champion: Kurt Angle (since 7/27/03)
WWE United States Champion: Eddie Guerrero (since 7/27/03)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Los Guerreros (since 9/18/03)
WWE Cruserweight Champion: Tajiri (since 9/25/03)
Commentators - Michael Cole & Tazz
The show opens with John Cena’s music playing, but Kurt Angle walks out. Angle is dressed as Cena and raps and mimics him and calls out “Kurt Angle” and out walks a midget dressed as Kurt Angle that ends up beating up “Cena” and locking him in the ankle lock. The real John Cena comes out and gets in Angle’s face with some FIRE. The midget low blows Cena and Angle hits him with an angle slam to a huge pop from the crowd.
1) Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham (w/ Danny Basham)
This sure does happen and the crippler taps out the freak.
A 12 minute Stephanie McMahon interview is on. I watched the Folk Tech stream on Twitch while this was going on, so yeah. Steph basically has a therapy session about her horrible of a person her dad is and cries in front of millions. I love him, BUT I HATE HIM.
Backstage, Jamie Noble and Nidia are sitting at a table talking about the outcome of Steph/Vince. They both agree they hope Steph wins. Tajiri overhears and rats them out to Mr. McMahon and so he makes a match.. NEXT
2) Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia)
THESE BOYS ROCK. And they rock for a couple minutes until god damn Nidia gets sprayed by Tajiri’s black mist and Noble leaves the ring and match to attend to her.
Back from commercial, Noble is in the back with officials helping Nidia. He comes back to the ring and demands Tajiri come back out there so he can whoop his ass for misting Nidia. Tajiri doesn’t come and Noble charges back up the ramp to find him, but HERE COMES THE PAIN. Brock lambasts Noble and beats the hell out of him…
And out walks Vince McMahon and Sable. A masturbatory promo that I did not need after the Steph bullshit that was entirely too long. Steph is a liar and he won’t have any mercy on her so he hopes God will LMAO. Sable is horny and fucks Vince a lot basically. Something Linda could never do… satisfy an American icon. They kiss to close the segment.
A recap of WWE’s recent trip to the United Kingdom airs.
3) Eddie Guerrero vs. Rhyno
This match rules. And why should we be surprised. It’s 2003. It’s Smackdown. It’s Eddie and Rhyno. Recipe for good shit. Rhyno works the ribs. Eddie sells it. These boys WORK through a commercial break or two. Eddie wins by using that lie, cheat and steal special. Placing the ring bell hammer in Rhyno’s hands. Ref sees it and Eddie cracks Rhyno with the belt and gets the pin.
Match rating - ***1/4
After the match, Eddie is in his truck celebrating. Big Show shows up with a pipe and cracks the back glass and pulls Eddie out the window and commits an incredible assault that leaves Eddie’s back and arms gushing blood from all the glass. I am fucking stoked for this match now. Just incredible work from these two here. This feud started off funny and now it’s SERIOUS.
4) Rey Mysterio vs. Johnny Stamboli
This was awesome. Mysterio prolly gave Stamboli his best match ever here. But to Stamboli’s credit, he was a decent base for Rey Rey to fly around off of. Rey counters out of some sort of powerbomb attempt or something into a West Coast Pop to catch the three count on the bigger man.
Match rating - ***1/4
Backstage, Matt Hardy presents a framed photo of himself to Shannon Moore. Meanwhile, Heidenreich walks up and asks Matt to present a tryout tape to Stephanie for him. Hardy says he won’t give it to Steph, but he’ll give it to whoever the new GM is next. Heidenreich walks off and Matt Hardy throws it in the trash.
This year’s No Mercy theme song is…. TODAY IS THE DAY BY DOPE ~~~~
Cole & Tazz run down the No Mercy card.
Brawl between Brock & Taker using the chain to tease the chain match at the PPV happens to close the show.
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